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Vicki Monroe's SpiritBlog Archive July 30, 2007 I was sitting at my desk at home the other day, writing another chapter for my new book, "Mysteries, Magic and Mayhem", when the silence struck me. Not only was I alone in my home for what I realize now is most of the time, but that the people in my family, my children, my husband, and myself, have all changed. The year my oldest graduated high school was so hard for me, each event that I had taken for granted when he was in high school became a "last time" thing, and ending, closure as it were. And with each passing event, his last homecoming dance, varsity basketball game, prom, all brought a very deep sadness to me. My husband on the other hand, was so fine through it all; I wondered if there was something wrong with me? He is a very loving, yet emotional person too, and I was the blubbering fool here, and he was sailing through it like it was any other year! The day we drove my oldest to his college, about 2 and half hours away, I was now fine, the summer having stabilized me, and the feeling of happiness for my son was much stronger than my need to keep him close by. When we arrived at the college, he was of course nervous, and all through the day my husband stayed close to him, me… On the other hand, I was busy making beds, setting up his dorm room, gabbing with the parents of his roommates. Actually, I was really enjoying myself. The day was rainy and gloomy, but I was happy and relaxed. I knew my son was a mature kid, he wasn't foolish, and knew his right from his left in matters of life. Not to say I didn't expect some party stories when he did get the chance to come home, we got those too, but he was always okay. Before my husband and I left, we had a long hug goodbye, and me being fine, walked away, telling my son, that I loved him, and that we were always going to be there for him. He smiled and he knew...we always had been, but now things were a bit different, his health was up to him, his appearance and getting to classes and basketball practice, everything was now up to him. His parents were not there to wake him, or tell him when to do what. It was all up to him. And knowing he was ready, and excited about it, well that was all I needed. After arriving back at my car, I was surprised how long I waited there. My husband had yet to come to the car. Finally after a half an hour I returned to the room, my husband holding back tears that just weren't going to listen. I took his hand, letting myself get one more hug in from my son, and my husband getting in his 30th, and pulling him gently along with me. I could see that my son was smiling with relief; I don't know how much longer he could have held out without shedding a tear or two. He and his dad are exceptionally close, and now... five years later, my second son is going to be graduating from college and my third son, is now a sophomore in college and my baby girl is a senior in high school. Back when my oldest was doing all of the changes, it was so very hard. But now I see a grown man when he visits. Now teaching for the summer at a camp up in Maine, he has turned into a wonderful adult. He graduated from school with a degree in history and education. Whether he chooses to use that now, or perhaps try something else first, that is up to him. But I feel nothing but pride when I see him now. Not that we haven't had our moments. All parents do. But now....as I prepare for my second son's final year of college and my daughters final year of high school I see how much we have all grown. The life changes and even when we don't believe we are ready for these changes, they do occur and we may not realize it, but we are changing to meet these new situations. Life gives us a wonderful gift: Time. Time allows us to change not in a single instant, but slowly, as slowly as we need to, and this year although it will be another transition year for me, my last child in high school, and another graduating college, I am prepared, as much as I can be. But, it will be a year of tears for me. Each football game my daughter cheers at, once closer to her leaving this part of her life behind. Each dance, basketball game, her homecoming, her prom, and finally her graduation. I know that she will be ready, and in the end I will be to. My other son will leave his college with a Bachelors degree in environmental studies, his passion. Time will allow my husband and I to adjust to these changes, as the house become quieter and quieter, we will be growing and learning to let go. Well... I know I will be. In Light, Vicki This website and text copyright © 2007, 2008 Vicki Monroe. All rights reserved.

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